new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
