her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
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We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
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Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.