Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!

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  (646): Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it! http://tfl.nu/tttx
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (546)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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  (610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx
  Replies (27) Good night (1140) Bad night (11264)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

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  (614): My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team http://tfl.nu/l8wh
  Replies (23) Good night (8056) Bad night (1290)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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  (412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j
  Replies (9) Good night (5117) Bad night (1393)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.

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  (724): i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here. http://tfl.nu/fq3k
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (3483)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (3001) Bad night (1191)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?

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  (865): Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale? http://tfl.nu/nfui
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (2085)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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  (709): I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her. http://tfl.nu/w26o
  Replies (10) Good night (2098) Bad night (1067)
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  (530): View more from California

  TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.

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  (530): TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG. http://tfl.nu/gtt9
  Replies (6) Good night (2534) Bad night (840)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.

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  (313): It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike. http://tfl.nu/mqaw
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1394)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Looks like I won that one

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  (952): You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor. (651): Looks like I won that one http://tfl.nu/usxg
  Replies (10) Good night (2090) Bad night (732)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (438)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent

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  (907): Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent http://tfl.nu/4dji
  Replies (8) Good night (1217) Bad night (524)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time

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  (410): I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time http://tfl.nu/zqpv
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (487)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.

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  (206): I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/cdkq
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (284)

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