Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.

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  (303): I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit. http://tfl.nu/klcc
  Replies (16) Good night (757) Bad night (2339)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials

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  (815): I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials http://tfl.nu/tg93
  Replies (11) Good night (971) Bad night (3356)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?

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  (603): Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right? http://tfl.nu/7voc
  Replies (31) Good night (3794) Bad night (1108)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.

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  (605): I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us. http://tfl.nu/gkw5
  Replies (7) Good night (3026) Bad night (868)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

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  (832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf
  Replies (9) Good night (1661) Bad night (1761)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

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  (204): I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks. http://tfl.nu/ehmv
  Replies (6) Good night (2091) Bad night (702)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is

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  (724): Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is http://tfl.nu/t84q
  Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (415)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.

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  (248): Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose. http://tfl.nu/kcg6
  Replies (8) Good night (1384) Bad night (396)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

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  (647): We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with. http://tfl.nu/g52q
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (1266)
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  (420): View more from

  Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.

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  (420): Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals. http://tfl.nu/6422
  Replies (9) Good night (1205) Bad night (378)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out

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  (828): Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out http://tfl.nu/cm81
  Replies (0) Good night (905) Bad night (279)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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  (775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (218)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.

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  (724): Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall. http://tfl.nu/yi3c
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (302)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?

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  (401): Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer? http://tfl.nu/x506
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (682)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts

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  (704): Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts http://tfl.nu/1f7h
  Replies (7) Good night (486) Bad night (206)

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