Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me

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(313): I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me http://tfl.nu/x1tc

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one

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(215): i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god (215): ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one http://tfl.nu/ngdq

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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(304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w

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(530): View more from California

I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.

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(530): I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/7iib

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.

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(850): I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night. http://tfl.nu/vbgm

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(845): View more from New York

im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars

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(845): im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars http://tfl.nu/ybwb

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

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(860): So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. http://tfl.nu/xnc4

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(+61): View more from Australia

I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"

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(+61): I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer" http://tfl.nu/7qtl

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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(267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9

Replies (9) Good night (1829) Bad night (670)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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(864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo

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(441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.

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(441): You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only. http://tfl.nu/b5c7

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(631): View more from New York

If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

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(631): If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person http://tfl.nu/73za

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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(215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34

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(406): View more from Montana

He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.

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(406): He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame. http://tfl.nu/fkng

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?

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(780): Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel? http://tfl.nu/7lkz

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