And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
