I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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