he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
