My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
