Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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