M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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