party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
