do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
