did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
