I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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