onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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