Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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