I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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