I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
