The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
