When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
