He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
