it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
