Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
