so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
