Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My vagina is very pro this idea
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