is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
