I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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