can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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