I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
