Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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