so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
