therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize