you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My life is pants optional.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
