I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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