Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
