Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
