You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
