We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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