You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
