Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
