Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize