Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
