I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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