some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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