Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
