she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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