You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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