im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
