My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
