Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
