google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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