she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
