spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
