So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
