I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
