Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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