he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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