D3 body, D1 cock
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
