I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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