I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
