the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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