i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
