Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
