Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
