ugly people sure do ruin things
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
