The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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