I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
