3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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