please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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