grandma shit on top of the toilet
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
