I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
