I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im holly from the hills drunk
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
