please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
