I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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